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Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
30921 views   114 replies   Latest reply: August 18, 2015 at 3:38:00 AM
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Member since:
Mar 27, 2014
Posts: 476
Aabye message #106
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 8, 2015 at 2:50:41 PM
 
Melanie,

My stepfather is trying to push me to acceptig her crazyness. We have NOT visited them today, we decided to spend our day at the Zoo, watching wolves and elephants..
Scared a couple of people half to death with our dog, who we decided to bring. Unfortunately there were SO many people that the wolves did not want to play today.. But it was super funny when people jumped in the air when Jamie went around the corners.. Still laughing a bit Cheesy


Anyhow.. My mother is acting like a teenager. I have this idea that it is her hormones that makes her crazy right now.. She is pushing 50 right now.. Not that it is an excuse, because it is not.. I do not believe a word that she says right now.. She claimed that she had no choice in doing what she did.. But i truely believe that you ALWAYS have a choise. If you do not make a choice you are making yourself a thing.. I have had to many psychology classes.. :p I am putting her in a box, I can't help it.. It is easy to see where she fits in, in all the psychological terms... :/

And really, I do NOT understand how he can accept what she has done.. I really really can't.. o.O 


- Line -

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid!
- Albert Einstein 


 
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Member since:
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Posts: 4205
Stitchboard Admin message #107
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 9, 2015 at 7:05:13 AM  (in response to Aabye message #1)
 
Line,

So glad to hear you didn't go there for a visit.  Your trip to the zoo sounds a lot healthier and was a smart choice.  Kiss

You have no obligation to accept that kind of behavior.  Showing up would have given your unspoken support for her.

You're right that whatever it is that's causing her to do what she's doing, even hormones, is no excuse.  At 5 years old, she would not have a choice.  At close to 50, she sure does, and her choice is to make everyone miserable until the next time she decides to take off.  Approving her behavior, as your stepfather is doing, is telling her she's doing the right thing, so when she does take off again (and you know she will), she'll be sure to cause maximum hurt...but in her mind she has "permission" to do it.

Go ahead and categorize her...she's being immature and irresponsible.  At least you see through her and are protecting yourself and your family...that's the best thing to do!

Your stepfather's acceptance is awful...and worse, trying to get you to accept her, too.  Frown  But at least he's an adult, so if he makes a mistake, then he should live with the consequences, not eventually push the same ones on you.  Good thing you found out in advance, huh?  Can you imagine being surprised with something so terrible, and in front of the boys, as well?  That was so sneaky and underhanded, with your stepfather being as immature and irresponsible as your mother.  Yell

What she did isn't understandable in the slightest.  She walked away before, and it doesn't sound like she's doing anything radically different to prove she won't walk away again...your stepfather will be in a world of hurt if he doesn't wake up to her manipulation.  But you at least are doing the emotionally healthy thing and staying out of everything, protecting yourself and your family.  Kiss

Sadly, some people love to head for self-destruction...and to take others down that path with them.  Frown  Best thing to do is not indulge them, IMO.  And family is the worst for that, because they know your vulnerabilities and know how to play on your emotions.

Kudos to you for doing the right thing, because it's not easy!  Kiss


Melanie  (cat slave and Official Feline Can Opener) =^.^=
~~~~~
I'm a beading, knitting and crochet addict.  If that means I'm admitting I have a problem, then I admit to nothing. Please refrain from helping me.


 
Member since:
Mar 27, 2014
Posts: 476
Aabye message #108
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 10, 2015 at 2:18:26 AM  (in response to Stitchboard Admin message #2)
 
Melanie,

I have no desire what so ever to let her back into my life.. And yes, she is immature, and irresponsible.. :/


What my stepfather does will be his problem, unless he comes to me with it again when she does the exactly same thing as she has just done... :/
I have spent 2 weeks of my life listening and beeing supportive of him while she ran away.
That is 2 weeks of my life that I will never get back -.-' 

I have not heard from any of them for about a week now, it really pisses me off that I was good enough when he needed to vent, and now we are invisible to him just because I said I did not want to meet with my mother on saturday.. WTF? 


- Line -

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid!
- Albert Einstein 


 
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Member since:
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Posts: 4205
Stitchboard Admin message #109
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 10, 2015 at 2:57:29 AM  (in response to Aabye message #3)
 
Line,

I'm glad you won't let her ruin your life again.  She really has no place in it.  You're being the responsible one, by watching out for yourself and your family!  That's the important thing.  She's not important.

I agree, it's your stepfather's problem.  I'm sorry he burdened you so much, particularly since none of it apparently sank in, so it was all for nothing, anyway.  Frown  I hope when she leaves him again (because it seems to be a foregone conclusion that it is going to happen again, don't you think?), he won't bother you with it, because if he didn't listen the first time, he won't listen when it happens again.  Some people simply never learn.  Hope springs eternal, and there's no telling them, reminding them or anything, that people are never going to change.  If he at all suspects she hasn't entirely changed, he's likely hopeful enough that he'll be able to make her change, and of course that never works.

He had no right at all to have burdened you, and I hope he won't try it again, but my guess is he will.  He should talk to a professional.  And even then he may never see the truth about her.

Ugh.  Cry  I'm sorry he's not communicating with you simply because you won't let your mother back into your life.  That's not right, either, nor is it very adult behavior.  No matter what, he should respect your decision, whether or not he agrees with it.  You have the right to disagree and to choose not to let such a toxic person be around you or your family.  And the way he tried to get her back into your life, by sneakily surprising you, was wrong, too.  He should have asked for your permission, and he should have been prepared to have been told "no."

Isn't it amazing how insensitive someone can be when they believe they're getting what they want?  He's in for a bad time, and I hope you can convince him to get professional help when he comes crying to you...you don't need more stress!

Sending good thoughts your way that he sees the light quickly and stops putting it all on you when things don't work out, because it's not your problem.


Melanie  (cat slave and Official Feline Can Opener) =^.^=
~~~~~
I'm a beading, knitting and crochet addict.  If that means I'm admitting I have a problem, then I admit to nothing. Please refrain from helping me.


 
Member since:
Mar 27, 2014
Posts: 476
Aabye message #110
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 13, 2015 at 1:05:12 AM  (in response to Stitchboard Admin message #4)
 
Melanie,

Good thought recieved.. :p

Just started school, I did not expect that I had to climb 12 flights of stairs to get to the 6th level to go to my classes.. My legs HURT :p
They do not have an elevatgor which is nice with a pelvis that acts stupid :p
 


- Line -

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid!
- Albert Einstein 


 
Look at that smile! (Photo guaranteed unretouched)
 
Member since:
Jul 1, 2009
Posts: 4205
Stitchboard Admin message #111
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 13, 2015 at 5:22:59 AM  (in response to Aabye message #5)
 
Line,

Anytime, hon.  Kiss

Argh!  12 flights of stairs...are they nuts?!  Do they expect everyone to be perfectly able-bodied?  Because that makes no sense.  Frown

Are you going to have to do that the entire semester?  Hoping not!

Half of that would be a long climb...so that's absolutely ridiculous.  Yell  They need an elevator!


Melanie  (cat slave and Official Feline Can Opener) =^.^=
~~~~~
I'm a beading, knitting and crochet addict.  If that means I'm admitting I have a problem, then I admit to nothing. Please refrain from helping me.


 
Member since:
Mar 27, 2014
Posts: 476
Aabye message #112
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 14, 2015 at 3:13:05 AM  (in response to Stitchboard Admin message #6)
 
Melanie,

I will have to climb those stairs a couple of times a week for the entire semester.. o.O
They do have an elevator, but that is only for teachers and people who litteraly can't go up the stairs.. o.O

It is suuuuper crazy..  


- Line -

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid!
- Albert Einstein 


 
Look at that smile! (Photo guaranteed unretouched)
 
Member since:
Jul 1, 2009
Posts: 4205
Stitchboard Admin message #113
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 14, 2015 at 6:22:32 AM  (in response to Aabye message #7)
 
Line,

Ugh, a couple of times a week?!  Cry

Do you think they'd let you use the elevator if you could bring them a doctor's note?  It sounds entirely unreasonable to force you to climb stairs with a medical condition...just because you don't look like you have a problem doesn't mean you don't have one! Otherwise, it's stupid of them to ignore a real problem...and if it were here, I'd say it makes them susceptible to a potential lawsuit.


Melanie  (cat slave and Official Feline Can Opener) =^.^=
~~~~~
I'm a beading, knitting and crochet addict.  If that means I'm admitting I have a problem, then I admit to nothing. Please refrain from helping me.


 
Member since:
Mar 27, 2014
Posts: 476
Aabye message #114
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 17, 2015 at 12:45:37 AM  (in response to Stitchboard Admin message #8)
 
Melanie,


I am not sure... I hope so, problem is that my doctor wants me to go trough a physical therapist, and they cost a lot of money here in DK, unfortunately that is money I do not have right now.. So it will have to wait.. I hope that if I climb the stairs slowly I can reduce the pain..

 


- Line -

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid!
- Albert Einstein 


 
Look at that smile! (Photo guaranteed unretouched)
 
Member since:
Jul 1, 2009
Posts: 4205
Stitchboard Admin message #115
Re: Rainbow baby blanket.
August 18, 2015 at 3:38:00 AM  (in response to Aabye message #9)
 
Line,

I'm so sorry you can't go to a physical therapist.  Cry  That should actually be less expensive to go to one, not more, since physical therapy can often keep people from needing surgery!  So backwards.

Sending good thoughts that going slowly will really help and you'll be going to physical therapy in the near future.  Kiss


Melanie  (cat slave and Official Feline Can Opener) =^.^=
~~~~~
I'm a beading, knitting and crochet addict.  If that means I'm admitting I have a problem, then I admit to nothing. Please refrain from helping me.

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